The Adventures of Stu Pid: Stu Eats a Banana

Stu Pid was hungry, so he ate a banana, it tasted good. Stu was still hungry, so he ate another banana. Soon Stu ate all the bananas on Earth. Stu was still hungry, so he ate a banana peel, it tasted good. Stu ate another banana peel. soon Stu ate all the banana peels on Earth. He was still hungry, so he ate an entire banana tree, it tasted good. So he ate another tree. And another. Soon Stu ate all the banana trees on Earth. He was still hungry. There were no banana-related objects left on Earth. So Stu went to Mars in hopes of alien bananas. There were no bananas on Mars. Just red dust. Stu ate the red dust. It tasted good.

I'm Not on Drugs I'm Just Weird Story 1

“It’s a bird!” “It’s a plane!” “It’s an alien invasion!” screamed three men, who shall remain nameless. It was a sunny day in California, but this story doesn’t take place In California, it takes place in Cow-landia, a completely fictional island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, or maybe it’s in Africa, who knows?

         “Grgskolirop!!!” screeched Bobby, the ugliest alien in the universe, as he attacked Cow-landia with his army of zombies. “AIIIIEEEEE!!!” screamed Joe, as his brain was

         “eaten by a zombie. “Gaaaaahhh!” Gasped Jim, as his brain was eaten by a zombie. “NOOOOOOOOoooooOoOOO!” yelled Jason, as his computer crashed.

         It was all up to the cows to save the earth, but suddenly a pumpkin came to life and started attacking! Did he attack the Zombies? Noooooooo. Did he attack Bobby? NOOOooooo. Did he attack the cows? Yeeeeeessss. Through his error, he doomed all of mankind, which were only two apocalypse survivors, Jimmy Bob Junior V, and Sam Belle Jill Barb IV.

         Suddenly! Bobby sent out his supply of stinky pickled fish and French cheese. “Alright! Said Jimmy Bob Junior V “I’ve got good news and bad news, the good news is, Bobby is giving us food, the bad news is, that food is stinky pickled fish and French cheese.” “THAT’S IT” I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!” hollered Sam Belle Jull Barb IV, as she jumped out the window, into the streets of Zombies and aliens, and died.

          Suddenly! Everyone who every lived came back to life, which was good because mankind was saved, but bad,  because the French people came back as giant monsters made out of cement and killed everyone, including the zombies and aliens.  That is why, if you’re the ugliest alien in the universe, and your name is Bobby, don’t release an army of zombies on a planet with French people.

Rage: IOS vs ANDROID

here

Nuttin'

WHAT THE HECK SHOULD I CALL THIS POST?

Get ready for some cheese-y puns

LOL!

Loafing

There is no pun for this bread

Check out my muscles!

Quit being a couch potato

Check it out! It's Darth TATER!

Flash Fiction IV

D.r Celaphod created a doomsday device out of an apple computer, and then Bill Gates destroyed it, not because it was a doomsday device, but because it was a Mac. But then, as the sun beat down, D.r Celaphod created a death ray out of a PC, because Steve Jobs was dead, he didn't destroy it, but fortunately the PC crashed right as D.r Celaphod tried to blow up Some Random Guy with his death ray.
Then Darth Vader crushed D.r Celaphod for no real reason. "I wanted to." said Darth Vader, when I asked him why he crushed D.r Celaphod. "Bah!" Said Hobbes the Adam of Weirdness.
What? Bah! Bada! I am going to write a novel in jibberish! It's an underrated language. ROBO-FISH! No! Garbage day is NEXT YEAR! Don't eat it! Stop making me eat dead foxes! 'Cause that's Arted Fuster's job! Whoever the heck he is. Bah! Gabagabadagaba! Jibberish! I am going to stop right now! Stop writing you stupid hand!

We Didn't Start Extinction

I'm working on a  parody of "We Didn't Start The Fire" called "We Didn't Start Extinction" to raise awareness of how many animals are extinct, and I decided to show you the first verse before I make the we,second verse.

Gould's Mouse, Mountain Deer,
Laughing Owl, Short-Faced Bear,
Norfolk Starling,
Lord Howe Pigeon,
Desert Bandicoot,

Bali Tiger, Flores Cave Rat,
Wooly Mammoth, Saber Tooth Cat,
White Gallinule,
Cape Serval,
Mauritius Coot,

*music*

Mylohyus, Golden Toad,
Atlas Bear, Blue Antelope,
Dodo, Lesser Bilby,
And the Toolache Wallaby

Bulldog Rat, Quagga,
Dwarf Hippopotamus,
Caribbean Monk Seal,
Formosan Clouded Leopard.

<Chourus>

We didn't start extinction,
There's no point denying,
'Cause we just keep dying,

We didn't start extinction,
We're just dying from it,
Our population plummets.

That's the first verse, the full song will come August at the latest.