Tuesday, March 4, 2014

I'm Not on Drugs I'm Just Weird Story 1


“It’s a bird!” “It’s a plane!” “It’s an alien invasion!” screamed three men, who shall remain nameless. It was a sunny day in California, but this story doesn’t take place In California, it takes place in Cow-landia, a completely fictional island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, or maybe it’s in Africa, who knows?

         “Grgskolirop!!!” screeched Bobby, the ugliest alien in the universe, as he attacked Cow-landia with his army of zombies. “AIIIIEEEEE!!!” screamed Joe, as his brain was
         “eaten by a zombie. “Gaaaaahhh!” Gasped Jim, as his brain was eaten by a zombie. “NOOOOOOOOoooooOoOOO!” yelled Jason, as his computer crashed.

         It was all up to the cows to save the earth, but suddenly a pumpkin came to life and started attacking! Did he attack the Zombies? Noooooooo. Did he attack Bobby? NOOOooooo. Did he attack the cows? Yeeeeeessss. Through his error, he doomed all of mankind, which were only two apocalypse survivors, Jimmy Bob Junior V, and Sam Belle Jill Barb IV.

         Suddenly! Bobby sent out his supply of stinky pickled fish and French cheese. “Alright! Said Jimmy Bob Junior V “I’ve got good news and bad news, the good news is, Bobby is giving us food, the bad news is, that food is stinky pickled fish and French cheese.” “THAT’S IT” I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!” hollered Sam Belle Jull Barb IV, as she jumped out the window, into the streets of Zombies and aliens, and died.

          Suddenly! Everyone who every lived came back to life, which was good because mankind was saved, but bad,  because the French people came back as giant monsters made out of cement and killed everyone, including the zombies and aliens.  That is why, if you’re the ugliest alien in the universe, and your name is Bobby, don’t release an army of zombies on a planet with French people.

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